Experiences of anxiety: "I suddenly became so anxious I couldn’t breathe"

Jo, Washington DC
Having an anxiety disorder means that I don’t just have a lot of feelings, I have feelings about my feelings. I worry that my feelings aren’t real or that my feelings about my feelings are the correct feelings, or my feelings are the wrong feelings. I have shame about my feelings, guilt about my feelings, anger about my feelings. Sometimes I wonder which feeling is real – the initial feeling or the resulting feeling? Am I making myself feel this way or do I just feel this way?

I’m always looking for patterns. I thrive on routine. Anything to make me feel less trapped, like I have control. My best friend dying in high school threw this desire for control into overdrive. I can’t enjoy concerts or festivals or bars because there are too many people – what if there’s a fire? What if someone starts shooting? Will I get crushed to death in the inevitable stampede?

One time in high school my friend spent the night, sleeping on my floor directly underneath the ceiling fan. I couldn’t sleep for hours because I imagined what I would do if the ceiling fan suddenly collapsed. I went over the plan again and again, all night long.

Airplanes are a problem. I travel a lot for work. My airplane routine is thus: pack efficiently at least two days prior. Select an odd-numbered window seat (preferably A, but F will do at a pinch), preferably with a seven or a three (but not 13) – 11A is my favourite seat – 17A comes in second. I will pick 27A over 25A, even though it’s farther back in the plane. I wear my airplane sweater, the same sweater I’ve worn on every flight for the last four to five years and take anti-anxiety medications.

I love my friends, and I know, intellectually, my friends like me (otherwise why would they hang out with me?). But I’m constantly worried they don’t like me, or that I’m being annoying, or that they only invite me around because I’m just that friend that’s always around who you can’t get rid of.

Anonymous, 20
I’ve always been an anxious person, even as a child. Moving away from home forced me out of my comfortable hole, out of my comfort zone, which is when my anxiety and depression got so much worse.

It was after months of paranoia, violent imaginings and a confusing sleeping pattern that I forced myself to get help. Since then I’ve been in therapy more or less constantly, which has helped me learn more about myself, and ways of coping. In a way, therapy offered me a chance to reintroduce me to myself.

If there is one take away piece of advice I could give, after years of debilitating anxiety and depression, it would be to make valuable friends, and to not be scared to talk to them about your anxieties and worries – it’s a very British thing to just bottle everything up, but you have to unbottle, and release the pressure sometimes.

Sinead Taylor, Melbourne, 24

A poem by Sinead Taylor. Photograph: Sinead Taylor

I have struggled with anxiety and depression since I was about eight. I went through years of therapy and counselling to fight my mental illness and through writing I have reached a very happy and healthy state.

Anonymous, 20, student
I’ve had a rocky road with mental health. I’ve suffered with what I think is a considerable problem with anxiety for nearly four years now. The fact that my life is near enough perfect and I still experience these feelings is astounding and often makes me feel helpless.

Bouts of anxiety where there is a constant niggling voice in my head, doubting everything I do and the actions of others, panic attacks, sometimes out of the blue, and deep-seated issues with skin picking and cleanliness, can be overwhelming and distract me from my work and sleep. I’ll be lucky to be asleep before four in the morning as of late.

Not so long ago I went to see my GP about it. They didn’t refer me, I wasn’t diagnosed, they just gave me pills and sent me on my way. The pills worked temporarily, but I didn’t understand how to tackle my issues, I didn’t even understand what my issues were or what was causing them. I still don’t.

David Beeney, 54
I will never forget 2 September 1986, one of the worst days of my life. I was helping to interview somebody and suddenly became so anxious I couldn’t breathe. I pretended that I felt faint to disguise what was really going on, and did exactly the same the following day in similar circumstances.

Little did I know then that I would continue to mask similar feelings of anxiety for the next 30 years. Two days later, I attended a wonderful wedding with my closest family and friends. Their memory of me that day would be of me acting the clown. My only memory of that day was thinking that my promising career was over at only 24-years-old and that I was going “mental”.

You just can’t tell by looking at someone how they are feeling inside. Back in 2004, a number of us went out straight from work to watch an England game. Our boss had put some money behind the bar and I can remember us all cheering England to a rare victory. What nobody noticed that evening was the young lad who decided to go home at half time. He didn’t turn up for work the next day. We never saw him again because he chose to kill himself, as life was no longer bearable for him. His closest colleagues were shocked because he had been laughing and joking only the day before in the office.

In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.

Experiences of anxiety: "I suddenly became so anxious I couldn’t breathe"

British people unaware of pollution levels in the air they breathe – study

People across the UK are underestimating the impact of the air pollution crisis in their local areas, according to a new survey.

Almost two thirds of respondents said they were concerned about the issue of air pollution, but only one in 10 said they thought the air they breathe is bad.

Last week the Guardian revealed that there are 802 educational institutions in the capital where pupils as young as three are being exposed to illegal levels of air pollution that can cause serious long term health problems.

And government statistics show 38 our of 43 UK “air quality zones” breach legal limits for air pollution.

Friends of the Earth, which carried out the latest survey, said that despite the growing evidence many people – particularly outside London – were still unaware of the dangers of air pollution.

“With only 1 in 10 British adults rating their air quality as poor despite swaths of the country breaking legal limits for air pollution, it seems the message about the scale and danger of air pollution isn’t getting through,” said Oliver Hayes, a Friends of the Earth air pollution campaigner.

“Often you can’t see it or smell it, but it’s there – and air pollution is risking the health of an entire generation of children.”

To coincide with the findings Friends of the Earth has launched what it says will be the “biggest ever citizen science air pollution experiment”. People can apply to the charity for clean air kits, enabling them to test the air quality where they live, and FoE will provide tips on how to avoid air pollution and what people can do to help support the campaign for clean air.

Hayes said: “Our clean air kits help people to find out about the air quality in the places they care about most: on the street where they live, where they work, where their children go to school and at the heart of their communities.

“The results will help us build up a localised picture of the state of our nation’s air to really bring home why everyone, from individuals to businesses and politicians, must do all they can to make the air we breathe safer.”

Air pollution is linked to heart disease, lung cancer, worsening asthma and poor lung development in children and leads to the premature deaths of around 40,000 people every year in the UK.

The Friends of the Earth report coincided with a separate study for the Greater London Authority which found a much higher awareness of air pollution in the capital.

It found that nine out of 10 people in London believe air pollution is at crisis levels and two thirds describe air quality in their local area as bad.

It also found that every London borough has recorded illegally high levels of air pollution in the last two years.

Hayes said: “Whilst Londoners are starting to understand the air pollution crisis, in part due to welcome attention from politicians and the media, outside of the capital it’s a very different story.”

Friends of the Earth said it hoped thousands of people will join in the charity’s experiment so it can create a comprehensive national air pollution picture. It said the data generated will feed into a national map which will help create a “state of the nation” report on air pollution.

British people unaware of pollution levels in the air they breathe – study

Revealed: thousands of children at London schools breathe toxic air

Tens of thousands of children at more than 800 schools, nurseries and colleges in London are being exposed to illegal levels of air pollution that risk causing lifelong health problems, the Guardian can disclose.

A study identifies 802 educational institutions where pupils as young as three are being exposed to levels of nitrogen dioxide that breach EU legal limits and which the government accepts are harmful to health.

The research, commissioned by the mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, suggests thousands more children and young people are at risk from toxic air than previously thought.

Khan said the results were devastating and warned that it was the capital’s poorest children who were bearing the brunt of the air pollution crisis.

“It is an outrage that more than 800 schools, nurseries and other educational institutions are in areas breaching legal air pollution limits,” he said.

“This is an environmental challenge, a public health challenge but also – and no one talks about this – it is fundamentally an issue of social justice. If you are a poor Londoner you are more likely to suffer from illegal air.”

Khan called for the government to introduce a clean air act and for a diesel scrappage scheme to take polluting cars off the road quickly.

Sadiq Khan: ‘We are evaluating the success of other cities … Nothing is off the table.’ Photograph: Dinendra Haria/Rex/Shutterstock

The results show nearly double the number of schools than previously thought are affected by illegal levels of toxic air. A report that was kept secret by former mayor Boris Johnson revealed last year 433 primaries were exposed to dangerous levels of air pollution.

The new data shows 802 out of 3261 nurseries, primary and secondary schools and higher education colleges, are within 150 metres of nitrogen dioxide pollution levels that exceed the EU legal limit of 40µg/m³ (40 micrograms per cubic metre of air).

A third of state nursery schools in the capital (27), nearly 20% of primaries (360) and 18% of secondary schools (79) are in areas where toxic levels of nitrogen dioxide threaten children’s health. Of the further education colleges in the capital, 43% (30) were in areas of illegally toxic levels of NO₂.

Nurseries map

Traffic is a major contributor to air pollution and there is growing concern about emissions from diesel vehicles, which contribute through the production of particulate matter and nitrogen oxides (NO_x).

Dr Francis Gilchrist, consultant respiratory paediatrician at Royal Stoke University hospital, said it was known that children were particularly sensitive to air pollution and that lung damage had lifelong consequences.

“If something is not done about air pollution these issues are going to get worse and worse. There is definitely concern that air pollution is affecting children’s lungs – in particular it exacerbates respiratory illness, like asthma, and it predisposes children who are healthy to having repeated chest infections,” he said.

“If you damage your lungs in childhood you are likely to see these effects right through into adulthood, so there is a lifelong impact.”

Khan hopes the introduction of what he says is the world’s first ultra-low emission zone will cut toxic NO₂ emissions from diesel vehicles by 50%. He plans to extend the zone to the north and south circular roads in the capital and has brought its introduction forward a year to 2019.

Last week he announced that drivers ofolder, more polluting cars will have to pay a £10 charge to drive in central London from October.

But other cities – including Paris, Athens and Madrid – have announced more dramatic measures, introducing car-free days and bans on diesel cars from city boundaries.

Khan said he had not ruled anything out. “We are evaluating the success of other cities. We are looking at their plans and nothing is off the table. But at the moment we think our plans are the most effective.”

London is not alone in the UK in facing an air pollution crisis. Khan and the leaders of four other cities badly affected by poor air quality – Leeds, Birmingham, Derby and Nottingham – had written to the government calling on them to do more to tackle the problem across the UK.

“It must be the case that air quality in other cities is having a similar impact and that it is worse in the most deprived parts of those cities. It must impact on schools in the same way, but they do not have the information that is now available in London. The government must take action,” he said.

The new research on schools, nurseries and colleges was based on modelling of data from 2013 carried out by experts from the environmental research group at King’s College London and Aether, the environmental data analysts.

The modelling is more precise than the government’s measurements, which the high court has condemned as overoptimistic.

School NO2 table

Judges told ministers last November they must cut the illegal levels of NO₂ in dozens of towns and cities in the shortest possible time after ruling their plans to improve air quality were so poor they were unlawful.

The government has until April to come up with proposals to bring before the court.

The study adds to the pressure on ministers to tackle air pollution amid growing evidence of a toxic air crisis in parts of the UK. London breached its annual air pollution limits just five days into 2017.

Last month Khan issued the first “very high” air pollution alert with warnings displayed at bus stops, train stations and road signs across the capital.

This year Khan gave £250,000 to fund 50 air quality audits at the worst affected primary schools. The money will allow schools to work with local councils to introduce measures to protect pupils from toxic air and could include banning the most polluting cars at drop-off and pick-up time, clean air routes for walking to school, green barriers and moving entrances away from busy roads.

Air pollution causes up to 50,000 early deaths – 9,000 of these in the capital – and costs the country £27.5bn each year, according to a government estimate. MPs have called it a public health emergency.

Khan is calling for ministers to introduce a comprehensive diesel scrappage scheme to compensate drivers who bought diesel cars after being told they were more environmentally friendly than petrol vehicles. He also wants the government to introduce a clean air act “fit for the 21st century”.

“Today people scratch their heads that 30 or 40 years ago we knew smoking was bad for your health but no action was taken,” he said. “I don’t want a situation now where in 20 or 30 years’ time our children or grandchildren say knew about air quality but no action was taken.

“I want London to be the envy of the world in relation to air quality, to be the greenest city in the world.”

‘Some days it makes me consider leaving London’

The playground at Tachbrook nursery school in Pimlico, west London, has lots to keep a three-year-old happy at breaktime.

But, like other schools highlighted in the report, it is very close to a busy main road. HGVs, cars, taxis and buses plough up and down the Embankment nearby, and so the school is subject to NO₂ pollution levels above EU legal limits.

Headteacher Elizabeth Hillyard said she had signed a petition along with other headteachers in the capital urging more to be done about toxic air.

“Air pollution has bad effects on health and it needs to be addressed and all the heads in Westminster have signed the petition,” she said.

Like other schools, Tachbrook does what it can to protect children, including having a fence around the playground. Kate Lyons, a parent collecting her three-year-old son, said the issue was a concern.

“We are generally concerned about the air in this area,” Lyons said. “You can feel it and taste it. My little boy loves playing in the playground at school, and it does worry me.

“We live nearby and sleep with our windows closed because of the pollution. We used to live in Edinburgh and you can feel the difference living here in London and some days it is something that makes me consider leaving.”

Additional reporting by Caelainn Barr

Revealed: thousands of children at London schools breathe toxic air

And breathe: the computer games helping kids relax

On the unassuming second-floor office of a tech startup in Clerkenwell, London, Simon Fox is teaching me how to breathe. “You’re not trying to shove your stomach out with muscular force,” advises the design director of BfB Labs. “Instead, what you’re trying to do is feel your lungs expanding into your body. You don’t want to breathe hard, but you do want to be breathing into the bottom of your lungs.”

Clipped to my earlobe is a tiny heart-rate monitor, linked to a Bluetooth device that is attached to my T-shirt. I’m here to try out what Fox and his colleagues have dubbed emotionally responsive gaming (ERG): computer games designed to increase players’ resilience to mental health problems by using biofeedback to monitor and reward their ability to remain calm under pressure.

Between rounds in Champions of the Shengha, the company’s first offering, gamers must spend about a minute practising the kind of diaphragmatic breathing that is widely recommended as a relaxation technique; the more successfully they control their breathing, the more gems they win to spend on weapons and spells to defeat their opponents. In fact, it’s not the breathing itself that is tracked, but the player’s heart-rate variability (HRV), which increases in response to diaphragmatic breathing and lower levels of stress. A higher variation shows a body with a healthy ability to relax and respond to events.

That sounds pretty easy, I think, especially as I’m not really bothered how I fare in the fantasy-themed battling game (“Like Top Trumps but with way more interesting stuff going on,” is Fox’s explanation to a non-gamer). On my first attempt, I get four gems out of a possible 10; not bad for a first try, says Fox, who cites his own experiences of chronic anxiety as a driving force in his work. I’m determined to do better next time.

The more successfully players control their breathing, the more gems they win to spend on weapons and spells to defeat their opponents. Photograph: Mark Waugh Manchester Press Phot

Champions of the Shengha began life more than two years ago, when Shift, a charity that works on behaviour change and social problems, was looking for a way to boost young people’s wellbeing in response to growing evidence of mental health issues among school-age children. It hit upon a computer game as a way of making the prospect of being trained in “emotional regulation” an attractive one, and was awarded £200,000 funding by Google’s Impact Challenge scheme.

Shift later incubated BfB Labs, which took on the development of the game. Keeping it genuinely enjoyable and credible as a game in its own right has always been key; ERG is being marketed to gamers not so much on the basis of its health benefits, but as an exciting new challenge.

“Half of all cases of mental health disorder start by the age of 14, and three-quarters by 24,” says Naomi Stoll, the project’s lead researcher. “Meditation, mindfulness and yoga are not the kinds of things that teenage kids, especially teenagers from disadvantaged backgrounds, are going to think are relevant to them and practise. Even 20 minutes of breathing every day is just not fun in any way.”

In a randomised control trial at the Billericay school in Essex earlier this year, more than four-fifths of the 90 pupils who played the game could reliably double their HRV through focused breathing. Three-quarters reported getting better at staying calm within the game, and a quarter said they had started using the techniques in everyday life.

Three-quarters of players reported getting better at staying calm within the game, and a quarter said they had started using the techniques in everyday life. Photograph: Mark Waugh Manchester Press Phot

The school had already seen a good take-up of mindfulness sessions, says deputy head Charlotte Berry, but it has mainly been girls, whereas Champions of the Shengha, which is played on a phone or tablet, has been embraced by both boys and girls.

“They very quickly started talking about how they were using the breathing in other aspects of their lives,” she says – including before important football matches, on occasions when they feared they would lose their tempers, and to deal with stress. Twelve-year-old Ryan Gibson used diaphragmatic breathing before his end-of-year exams and says it has also been handy at home: “I’ve got a younger sister who always annoys me. I use it to stop myself from reacting and saying something that would get me in trouble.”

Although there are a handful of other developers producing computer games that feed players’ emotions back into play, it’s a tool in its infancy. But gaming seems to have a wider role in promoting good mental health, says Dr Paul Cairns, a reader in human computer interaction at the University of York. “We feel better when we have a feeling of competence and autonomy,” he says. And games, unlike real life, present well-defined problems that are designed for people to succeed at: “They offer us the rewards we need.” Crucially, they also provide an escape from isolation, especially when you can play against people around the world online.

BfB Labs is planning future games to appeal to different audiences: Fox describes one as a “noir-y detective thing” where you have to keep your cool through a series of interrogations. Champions of the Shengha has just gone on sale on the crowdfunding site Indiegogo, where a beta version, including the biofeedback sensor, costs about £27, and there are also options to donate the kit to schools.

Back in Clerkenwell, Fox instructs me to place my hands on my chest and stomach to see which bits are moving as I breathe. I may not be engaged with the game itself, but it appears my naturally competitive nature is doing a fine job of ramping up the pressure: I overbreathe noisily. Only on my seventh try do I finally manage a five.

The next week, with multiple deadlines looming, I find myself absent-mindedly moving my hand to my stomach and adjusting my breathing. Something, it seems, has stuck.

And breathe: the computer games helping kids relax

How to Breathe Less difficult At Property

Getty Photographs

Getting a healthier property is not necessarily about generating each and every surface spotless. (Phew!) But a bit of strategic cleansing protects you from germs and harmful toxins. In truth, concentrations of some pollutants can be two to 5 times higher within our houses than they are outdoors, according to the Environmental Safety Agency—a worrisome fact taking into consideration we spend, on typical, 90 % of our time indoors.

What is a lot more, ordinary objects like a dirty dish towel or neglected houseplant “can give just the correct atmosphere for harmful microbes to expand,” says Kelly Reynolds, PhD, associate professor of environmental sciences at the University of Arizona in Tucson. Fortunately, little adjustments, whether it is shaking out your welcome mat or installing a water filter, can increase the effectively-getting of your home—and everybody in it. Right here, the most important moves to make.

Stage up your doormat
About 60 percent of the dust in our property comes from outside—most of it tracked in on the bottom of our sneakers, analysis says. And people small particles are created up of a mixture of all kinds of icky factors like human skin, animal fur, foods debris, lead, and even arsenic.

“Thankfully, making use of the appropriate variety of doormats can support reduce grime, pesticides, pollen, and other pollutants in your house,” says Oluremi Aliyu, MD, assistant professor of medication at the University of Connecticut Overall health Center. Choose an abrasive one (it will grab more gunk) created of synthetic fibers like nylon yarn or polypropylene.

Then never neglect to clean it: “Vacuum or shake out your mat after a week,” advises Linda Cobb, cleansing professional and writer of Speaking Dirty with the Queen of Clean. As soon as a month, do a deep clean: Scrub it with a scrub brush and warm, soapy water, then hose it off.

Filter your tap water
Your home H2O can contain bacteria, chemical substances, and other pollutants, which includes hefty metals like lead. At least 74 million Americans in 42 states drink tap water containing chromium (a metal that in some varieties can cause cancer), a research from the Environmental Doing work Group reveals.

And though chlorine is essential to disinfect our water provide, large amounts can injury healthier cells. The chlorine can also react with other elements in water to form compounds that have been linked to cancer, miscarriages, and birth defects. Lengthy-term exposure to water contaminants—via drinking or inhalation (such as in the steam from your shower)—can also lead to blood, bone, and lung illnesses, notes Michael Roizen, MD, chairman of Cleveland Clinic’s Wellness Institute.

For further peace of mind, invest in a water filter for your kitchen faucet that is certified by the Nationwide Science Basis (this kind of as Pur or Brita). In the shower, install a carbon filter to assist get rid of chlorine as well as metals that could leach out of pipes. Bear in mind: “The longer water has been sitting in the pipes, the larger the metal content, so let it run for a handful of seconds ahead of showering,” Roizen adds.

Up coming Page: Swap out your dish towels

How to Breathe Less difficult At Property

Obese folks breathe in a lot more air pollutants, say scientists

The examine of one,900 participants was carried out by Dr Pierre Brochu, a professor at the Universite de Montreal’s School of Public Well being in Canada.

Following his findings, Dr Brochu says obese and overweight folks are now much more vulnerable to the effects of air pollution.

Atmospheric respiratory irritants this kind of as ammonia, sulphur dioxide, ozone and nitrogen oxide can set off a quantity of severe wellness effects, such as asthma.

In the United kingdom alone, a report by the Environmental Audit Committee in 2011 recommended tens of thousands of early deaths that year were linked to air pollution.

Dr Brochu said: “Obese class two folks have the highest average air inhalation, or 24.six m3 per day.

“That is eight.two m3 much more than the 16.4 m3 an regular grownup with normal weight breathes everyday, or 50 per cent much more air and pollutants.”

Dr Brochu also located obese people need far more oxygen than best athletes.

In a separate review, he found that a man or woman who climbs Mount Everest wants an average of 19.8 m3 of air per day.

Meanwhile, a cross-country skier in a competitors can breathe up to 41.two m3 per day and a Tour de France cyclist breathes an average of 45.9 m3 per day over the 21-day race.

Even so, this is peak inhalation which can not be maintained every day above an entire yr.

Dr Brochu mentioned: “We observed that half of the sort two obese cohort breathed 24.6-fifty five m3 of air each and every day, 12 months following year.

“As a result, it is clear the sum of air they inhale every single day exposes them to more contaminants than some best athletes.

“But it remains to be observed if substantial inhalation prices are a issue in the advancement of asthma and other lung illnesses in adults as well as young children.”

Obese folks breathe in a lot more air pollutants, say scientists