Anonymous, 40
I am a spider. I reach out and all I find is the cobweb I have woven. Woven out of experiences and childhood trauma. I reach out and find I can’t get out of this sticky mess. I can’t get out of bed. Something keeps me there and every time I try there is a wall. A wall of doubt, stigma and pain.
My name is Cobweb and I have schizoaffective disorder, which is a type of schizophrenia. As soon as you read “schizo”, parallels are made with “split personality” and perhaps craziness. Only the other day I heard someone say “schizo” in a casual way. They did not mean this in a kind way – it was referring to a kind of madness or craziness that is associated, perhaps, with crime or being possessed.
I recently explained to a friend that having schizophrenia did not mean a split personality. I believe I have suffered from this condition from the age of 17 or earlier. I was diagnosed only three years ago and got the help and support I needed. When I was 17, I was admitted to a psychiatric ward and suffered a psychotic episode and other complications. As a result, I suffer from chronic pain. I have this to cope with for the rest of my life, and I do not really know what the future holds for me.
Since this episode, I have been ill off and on, however, this did not stop me from studying for a degree, an MSc and a postgraduate course. It has not stopped me from raising awareness of mental health issues in Scotland and helping others with similar conditions. Whenever I have been out of work I have always done voluntary work and been an active member of my community. I may have schizoaffective disorder, but I’m a human. I’m slightly quirky and different, but no one is the same and the world is made up of many beings who deserve their right to be here.
I was born into a broken world, and experienced some things that others may never have. However, it has made me who I am. I have experienced trauma at an early age and am now living proof that with support and resilience it is possible to live with schizoaffective disorder. There is still much to be done. I want to tell Theresa May that more needs to be done to raise awareness of mental health generally, but most specifically among young people.
Ed, 45, from Liverpool
I have a diagnosis of schizophrenia, which means I am pretty much excluded from society. Doors that are open to most people are firmly closed to me. The reality of my life is isolation, poverty, fear and hopelessness. I sometimes like to express my thoughts and experiences in little cartoon strips.
Lisa Heinlen, Arizona, US
My son was diagnosed with schizophrenia last March, and it was pretty sad the way it all went down. My mom has paranoid schizophrenia, so I knew the signs. I was trying to get help in a hurry and the crisis unit sent out an officer to assess the situation. The officer had no idea how to deal with someone having a breakdown, and put him in handcuffs. My son was hearing voices and this made him worse. He flipped out and kicked the officer in the groin area and tried to resist, so they took him to jail, and blamed me for his behaviour.
The only thing I can hope and pray for is that officers get more training and understanding. As long as people with mental health problems have a good support system, they’re less likely to end up back in the hospital. I spent months trying to get my son on the correct medicine. It has been a hard road for us. I encourage and love my son. It’s one day at a time for us.
In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
Living with schizophrenia: "There is a wall of doubt, stigma and pain"
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