I battled my anxiety by making people laugh. Funnily enough, it works | Naomi Petersen
To say that comedy “cured” my anxiety is perhaps an overstatement: I’m still living with it. But these days, I have come to view it as an exasperating recurring character in the film of my life, rather than the main antagonist that it used to be. My anxiety, in other words, is Jar Jar Binks.
As I write this, I’m preparing to take my debut one-woman comedy show up to the Edinburgh festival fringe, a challenge I’ve only recently felt mentally tough enough to undertake.
I’ve experienced anxiety in some form since childhood, which has manifested itself in a variety of symptoms ranging from shortness of breath, to night terrors, the occasional panic attack and an overwhelming array of destructive negative thoughts (I’m the one you want to party with). Graduating from drama school and working as an actor exacerbated the situation: the endless auditioning, frequent rejection and haywire routine made me feel even less in control.
I’m still reaping the benefits of the principle of playfulness throughout this process
Lots of things helped. An apprehensive visit to a psychiatrist helped me realise that the anxiety stemmed from being bullied at school and led to a course of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). Through this, I was able to understand and challenge my negative thought patterns. I was inundated with words of wisdom and those repeated cliches: stay healthy, lay off the booze, eat well and get plenty of sleep. All important, all true, all unfortunately difficult to put into practice for someone whose main joys in life include cake of all kinds and necking flutes of prosecco.
Yet the biggest revelation came back in January 2013, was entirely unexpected and nowhere to be found in the NHS leaflets. I had spent a few days existing in a semi-permanent state of what I affectionately dubbed “Towel-Face” – which can be roughly translated as spending a prolonged amount of time sitting on the bed staring at the wall in your towel post-shower, because the idea of getting dressed seems too overwhelming (honestly, I’m great at parties). Then on a whim, I signed up to an improv comedy course.
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