A mother whose teenage son took his own life after being the victim of bullying that began over a computer game has said everyone has a collective responsibility to prevent other young lives being lost.
In an open letter, Lucy Alexander said her son Felix, 17, was so damaged by the abuse, isolation and unkindness he had experienced before his death that he did not realise anyone at his school cared about him.
The sixth-form student, from Worcester, was pronounced dead after being hit by a train near the city on 27 April.
An inquest heard the “kind and caring” teenager with a bright future had moved to Pershore high school after experiencing difficulties at a previous school. Three weeks after his death, hundreds attended his funeral and there was standing room only because the church was so full.
In her letter published in the Worcester News, Alexander, who also has a daughter Charlotte, 22, and a son Ben, 21, said she was not writing for sympathy but for the other children like Felix who were also being bullied.
The bullying had begun, she told the Sun, when her son was just 10 and classmates at the fee-paying King’s school where he had previously been a pupil teased him because he was not allowed to play the video game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. It spiralled from there and he later became the victim of online abuse.
She said of her son in her letter: “His confidence and self-esteem had been eroded over a long period of time by the bullying behaviour he experienced in secondary education.
“It began with unkindness and social isolation and over the years, with the advent of social media, it became cruel and overwhelming. People who had never even met Felix were abusing him over social media and he found that he was unable to make and keep friends as it was difficult to befriend the most ‘hated’ boy in the school.
“He did make friends at his new school and the teaching staff found him to be bright, kind and caring. He was however so badly damaged by the abuse, isolation and unkindness he had experienced, that he was unable to see just how many people truly cared for him.”
The letter urged children to be kind always and to report bullying if they saw it. It said: “Be that one person prepared to stand up to unkindness. You will never regret being a good friend. I have been told that ‘everyone says things they don’t mean on social media’. Unkindness is dismissed as ‘banter’ and because they cannot see the effect of their words they do not believe there is one.”
She also said that teachers should be looking out for the signs of children struggling, especially if they were always sitting alone during lunch. Her final appeal was to parents. She said: “Please take an interest in what your children do online. We don’t like to think that our children could be responsible for being cruel to another child, but I have been shocked by the ‘nice’ kids who were responsible in part for Felix’s anguish. Even if they only say something horrible once, that will not be the only person who will have said something that week.”
Parents should encourage their children to self-edit and to use social media for kindness, she said. “On several occasions we removed all form of social media from Felix as it was causing so much distress, but that just isolated him further,” she said.
“Our lives have been irrevocably damaged by the loss of our wonderful son; please don’t let it happen to any other family.”
The family have been fundraising for Place2Be, a children’s mental health charity which provides in-school support and training for emotional wellbeing.
The charity’s director of communications, Jennie Meadows, said: “We are inspired by Lucy Alexander’s commitment to bringing about positive change from such a tragic and heartbreaking situation.”
She said the money raised following the death of Felix would help the charity reach more young people. She said: “The support that we have received as an organisation in memory of Felix is both overwhelming and unprecedented.”
- In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14. Hotlines in other countries can be found here
Mother of teenager who killed himself appeals for kindness online
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