battled etiketine sahip kayıtlar gösteriliyor. Tüm kayıtları göster
battled etiketine sahip kayıtlar gösteriliyor. Tüm kayıtları göster

20 Nisan 2017 Perşembe

Virgin Money chief: "I have battled with mental health all my life"

When Jayne-Anne Gadhia was once turned down for a promotion, her boss provided two reasons for his decision: she lacked a thick skin and the ability to bullshit. Twenty five years on – and after making it to the top of the banking sector to become chief executive of Virgin Money – Gadhia reckons she still doesn’t possess either of those characteristics.


Rather than growing a thick skin, Gadhia sticks her fingers in her ears to illustrate her own “la la la” approach to put-downs. And she insists her motto of “ebo” (wanting to make everyone better off) is not nonsense.


“I hope I haven’t got a thick skin and don’t bullshit,” said Gadhia in her office above one of Virgin Money’s branches – which the lender insists are called “lounges” – just off London’s Piccadilly. “That’s for somebody else to judge. I do think the culture that required [those characteristics] has changed”.


The anecdote is one of the many in Gadhia’s autobiography, in which she also talks candidly about her battle with depression, particularly after the birth of her daughter Amy in 2002, after six attempts at IVF, and again three years ago when she had to suppress suicidal thoughts at the same time as Virgin Money was preparing for a stock market flotation three years ago.


“I judge my own mental health these days by my weight. I have battled with it all my life,” she writes in the book, the proceeds of which are going to Heads Together, the mental health charity that has recently been benefiting from the high profile support of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry.


“When I am slim and physically fit, then I am in good shape mentally,” says Gadhia. “And when I am struggling mentally, I decrease the running and increase the chocolate. But, if that is as bad as it gets, then I can manage – despite the wardrobe problems this creates.”


Gadhia says that revealing her mental health problems was not the purpose of the book, which she wrote on her Blackberry during last year’s summer holiday. The idea was to tell the story of Virgin Money, which is backed by Sir Richard Branson. The business started in 1994 when the insurer Norwich Union – her then employer – linked up with Branson’s Virgin Group to launch a savings and pensions product.



Jayne-Anne Gadhia talks to Sir Richard Branson about his views before the EU referendum.


Remain voter Jayne-Anne Gadhia talks to Sir Richard Branson about his views before the EU referendum. Photograph: Ben Pruchnie/PA

In 2001 part of Virgin Money was taken over by Royal Bank of Scotland and Gadhia went with it. But she quit in 2006, blaming the culture at the Edinburgh-based bank and returned to the core Virgin business..


At RBS she claims she raised the alarm about accounting issues, the sale of payment protection insurance, and rejected attempts to package up mortgages in the style of securitisations which were later to be the undoing of Northern Rock, the bank that was nationalised in 2008. Gadhia eventually took over the “good” part of Northern Rock in 2011.


With hindsight she points to four reasons for RBS’s demise: it grew too quickly, did not have enough capital, lacked diversity at the top – run by “white Scottish men”, she says – and developed a culture where managers thought they were masters of the universe.


The RBS bankers also partied hard, she says. Gadhia tells how she saw bankers with blisters and bandages on their thumbs after setting them alight in sambuca drinking games – events she did not attend – and describes a female colleague who believed she was expected to sleep with her manager.


Her personal profile rose after the Northern Rock deal. More accustomed to being an outsider trying to break into the City establishment – at one point in the interview she describes herself as “this rather strange woman” – Gadhia sat next to George Osborne when he was delivering his high-profile Mansion House speech two years ago, was one of David Cameron’s business advisors, and still leads a Treasury-backed initiative to boost diversity in financial services.


She was also a vocal supporter of their Remain campaign, but she insists she is not now a remoaner. While Virgin’s shares lost a third of their value in the immediate aftermath of the referendum, they have since regained much of that dip and are back above their float price. The bank’s first quarter results on Tuesday will be an indicator of any hit from Brexit.



Branson’s Necker Island home in the Caribbean


Gadhia visits Branson’s Necker Island home in the Caribbean about once a year and clearly admires the entrepreneur. Photograph: Virgin Limited Edition/PA

Gadhia says that in writing the book “I was learning quite a lot about myself” and that to be successful, you need supporters. In her own case, a key supporter was the late Sir Brian Pitman who ran Lloyds Bank before becoming the chairman of Virgin Money after he retired. Unsuprisingly, she names Branson as another supporter.


About once a a year she visits Branson’s Necker Island home in the Caribbean and she clearly admires the serial entrepreneur who appeared via video link at this week’s book launch – held in the Virgin Group’s Roof Gardens in Kensington.


“All of this – I hope this doesn’t sound naff, the whole thing is a privilege. I’ve got a completely normal background, with working class parents, married to guy who didn’t have shoes to put on his feet when he came to this country from Kenya at the age of nine.”


Her husband Ashok – she took his name on marriage – gave up his career to look after their daughter. Gadhia draws upon their experience of being a mixed-race couple for her hopes for women’s’ equality and mental health.


She wants those issues to become as unquestioningly accepted as her mixed race marriage now is. “Over the 30 years Ash and I have been married that change has been profound.”



Virgin Money chief: "I have battled with mental health all my life"

2 Ağustos 2016 Salı

I battled my anxiety by making people laugh. Funnily enough, it works | Naomi Petersen

To say that comedy “cured” my anxiety is perhaps an overstatement: I’m still living with it. But these days, I have come to view it as an exasperating recurring character in the film of my life, rather than the main antagonist that it used to be. My anxiety, in other words, is Jar Jar Binks.


As I write this, I’m preparing to take my debut one-woman comedy show up to the Edinburgh festival fringe, a challenge I’ve only recently felt mentally tough enough to undertake.


I’ve experienced anxiety in some form since childhood, which has manifested itself in a variety of symptoms ranging from shortness of breath, to night terrors, the occasional panic attack and an overwhelming array of destructive negative thoughts (I’m the one you want to party with). Graduating from drama school and working as an actor exacerbated the situation: the endless auditioning, frequent rejection and haywire routine made me feel even less in control.




I’m still reaping the benefits of the principle of playfulness throughout this process




Lots of things helped. An apprehensive visit to a psychiatrist helped me realise that the anxiety stemmed from being bullied at school and led to a course of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). Through this, I was able to understand and challenge my negative thought patterns. I was inundated with words of wisdom and those repeated cliches: stay healthy, lay off the booze, eat well and get plenty of sleep. All important, all true, all unfortunately difficult to put into practice for someone whose main joys in life include cake of all kinds and necking flutes of prosecco.


Yet the biggest revelation came back in January 2013, was entirely unexpected and nowhere to be found in the NHS leaflets. I had spent a few days existing in a semi-permanent state of what I affectionately dubbed “Towel-Face” – which can be roughly translated as spending a prolonged amount of time sitting on the bed staring at the wall in your towel post-shower, because the idea of getting dressed seems too overwhelming (honestly, I’m great at parties). Then on a whim, I signed up to an improv comedy course.



jar Jar Binks


‘My anxiety, in other words, is Jar Jar Binks.’ Photograph: Allstar/Lucasfilm

Spending three hours making stuff up in a room full of incredibly funny people was nothing short of life-affirming. There is no feeling more joyous than laughing until your sides hurt and making others laugh too. My confidence grew, my social circle flourished and as I continued to throw myself into this world I began to feel less anxious in day-to-day life.


Fundamentally, I believe this is down to the fact that improv is so much about rediscovering a sense of play. As adults, how often do we detach ourselves from our responsibilities and just let ourselves play? How often do we genuinely take off our adult masks and get messy and silly, without worrying about how we appear? Almost never, especially if alcohol is off the table. It can feel like society actively discourages us from letting go and from reconnecting with our inner children. On the other hand, improv and comedy in general is all about finding and following the fun. When I fully embraced that, it was amazing how uplifted and free from worry I felt.


Related: As a neuroscientist who’s done standup, I know performance anxiety is no joke | Sophie Scott


Fast-forward four years, and comedy has become an integral part of my life: as well as performing and teaching improv, I’m also premiering my solo show “I Am Telling You I’m Not Going”. It’s a big-hearted, silly and joyful hour of character comedy, songs and storytelling that’s partly inspired by my own anxiety.


As I’ve been developing it, I’ve realised that comedy doesn’t just improve my wellbeing – it can also be a crucial platform for discussing mental health. Laughter has such a universal way of connecting with people that more sensitive subjects become instantly relatable and cease to be taboo. We should be searching for the humour in dark situations and using it to erase any stigma surrounding them.


I’m still reaping the benefits of the principle of playfulness throughout this process. The overriding lesson from developing the show is that it’s always most successful when I have the most fun. My job at its heart is to mess about, be silly, follow the funny and find the joy. When I’m entirely focused on that, there’s no longer any room for Jar Jar.



I battled my anxiety by making people laugh. Funnily enough, it works | Naomi Petersen

18 Mart 2014 Salı

why i never ever battled cancer

Cancer didn’t just come about to me. It took time. I bear in mind anything within me trying to talk to me lengthy before it determined to go it’s very own way and turn into cancer.  It yelled and screamed. It manufactured me uncomfortable. It made me sad. It cried and and created my stomach tight. I ignored it. So it last but not least gave up. It was accomplished with me. It hit the street and went it’s personal way and took a entire bunch of other cells with it. They all grew to become a difficult gang known as “solid tumor.”


I frequently recognize the words men and women use to describe individuals with cancer.


“She is battling cancer.” “ He misplaced his battle with cancer.”


“His fight towards cancer.”


After my very own diagnosis, many advised me to “fight” this cancer, that I “can win”. It felt as if I was out of the blue in a boxing match that I could win if I only could only “fight” tough sufficient. At first I imagined, “Good information! If I only battle challenging adequate, I can be healed!


I’m terrified here. I’m alone. I want to fight for my life…I’ll do anything! I’ll fight.  Just tell me what to do. I’m ready.”


So I put my gloves on, took a crouching place to safeguard myself and squinted. I looked close to to have a appear at the competitors who were…..me and…me yet again! In 1 corner was a healthier element of me and in the other corner, there was the cancer that may be in my entire body, which is also me.


It got me thinking…who is my opponent? Who is the enemy? In each corners it is only ME. I looked all around and could only see my very own entire body. There was no enemy, only my very own physique. I realized there was no one to fight. So I took the gloves off. And took a extended, deep breath.


Then some thing sudden occurred as I released from the crouching. I no longer felt alone and terrified. I slowly began to smile a lot more. I even danced. Nearly each day.


I felt that I had been all of a sudden awakened and grew to become aware of the valuable present of lifestyle. I grew to become conscious of the only car I had for lifestyle: my entire body. I grew to become conscious of me.


By knowing that I did not require to battle my entire body no matter what its issue may possibly be in, anything deep started to relax within. I felt a superb acceptance.  Then, a lightness came. I felt an openness surrounding me. I felt support all about me. And most of all, I felt really like.


There was practically nothing to fight, repair or adjust. I felt like my personal ideal buddy.


And as very best friends do, they pay attention, not battle.  So I listened to my body as a whole, and then I listened to my cells that were going their personal way: the cancer cells.


They looked very intimidating. I was terrified.  But I nevertheless stored the gloves off.


Then I had one of the most gorgeous experiences of my daily life: I dared to appear at cancer straight in the encounter.  I was terrified but knew I had to listen. I felt it had anything to educate me. So I listened. Humbly.  It expressed a lot sadness and hurt.  And it was angry the same way youngsters get angry.


Cancer was not the monster I had imagined. And it was definitely not the enemy. It was a portion of me that reminded me of little tiny boy who was unhappy and lonely. And ran away from property.


It was a element of me that I had forgotten about. A element that I did not listen to.  A element that I hadn’t loved.  That element basically needed to express itself and to be observed. Most of all, it desired to be loved and accepted.


A lot more than ever, fighting was not the right factor to do. How could I fight a person who’s unhappy and lonely? Unhappy and lonely required a good friend.


I knew after that listening knowledge that I necessary to make some radical changes in my daily life.


There was no area for compromise. I essential to dwell life to the fullest! I needed to respect what that unwell part of me longed for. Not straightforward, I tell you.  Why isn’t that simple, you could ask?  Since what we prolonged for is frequently not what other people long for. And currently being a pleaser, this was specially hard for me.


I still need to remind myself every single day to listen to only me and nobody else.


I do this by staying extremely close to myself. Since there are a good deal of voices out there in this huge globe.


I have to pay attention quite closely, due to the fact my physique is so gentle and loving…it only whispers.


I now believe in that listening to my deepest voice can only lead me to well being and deep really like. It currently has.


By listening, I am obtaining to know components of myself I did not even know were there. And I like those components. They are love. Adore is always with me, no matter what. Cancer or no cancer.


Jivan Dios is a Canadian Family members Constellation Therapist living and operating in Stockholm, Sweden and in Greece on the island of Crete. Sessions are offered on the web. Pay a visit to her at www.opentherapy.se 



why i never ever battled cancer